`Draga Parinte, Fiule

Ma bucur foarte mult ca ti-a mers atit de bine in prima ta slujba si ca ai tinut cont de sfatul pe care ti l-am dat, dar trebuie sa-ti fac anumite observatii:

1. Din acel pahar cu apa trebuie sa iei mici sorbituri nu sa-l dai pe gat dintr-o data.
2. In acel pahar cu apa nu se pune nici gheata, nici felii de lamaie. In plus, eu ti-am spus sa pui putina vodca in paharul cu apa, nu invers…
3. Nu se foloseste Biblia ca suport pentru pahar.
4. Nu poti sa te stergi la gura cu sutana.
5. Poruncile lui Dumnezeu sint 10 nu 12.
6. Iar apostolii sint 12 nu 10.
7. Cind vorbesti despre cruce nu poti sa spui ca e acel T mare de deasupra altarului.
8. Cind vorbesti despre Isus si apostoli, nu poti spune ca e `Fiul si banda lui`.
9. David l-a invins pe Goliat cu o prastie si o piatra, nu poti sa spui ca `i-a zburat curul cu dinamita`…
10. Cind vorbesti despre Iuda, nu poti sa-l numesti `bulangiu`.
11. Tatal, Fiul si Sfintul Duh nu sint Batrinul, Juniorul si Stafia…
12. Nu e frumos sa-l numesti pe Papa `Nasul`.
13. Initiativa de a invita publicul sa aplaude a fost buna, dar a fost exagerat sa-l inviti sa danseze Macarena, sa faca trenuletul si sa o inviti pe Sora Daniela sa faca striptease.
14. Apa sfinta se foloseste pentru a binecuvinta, nu pt. a-ti racori ceafa.
15. `Casuta` aia este confesionalul, nu toaleta
16. Vezi sa ai mereu chilotii pe tine si, cind e cald, evita sa-ti faci aer cu sutana.
17. Iti amintesc ca slujba trebuie sa dureze circa 1 ora si nu doua reprize de 45 de minute fiecare, iar cel care era asezat linga tine si pe care l-ai numit `travestit cu fusta rosie` eram eu….

The Avatar fever reach China where 15 sculptors had a period of 10 days to make statues of Jake and Princess Sally Neytiri. As the crisis they have made statues of … clay. )

Ne-a esplicat doamna educatoale
Amănunţit, chial ne-a si desenat,
Cum am ajuns să ezigstăm sub soale,
Cum fiecale a fost plocleat,

Elam ochi si ulechi de culios
Să aflu cum pe lume am venit,
Si chipes si isteţ, da’ si flumos,
Da’ nu te mint, mai mult m-a plictisit,

C-al fi o balză, cale-n noptiţică,
Ne-aduţe-n pliscu’ ei, împachetaţi,
Când scapă si mămica de bultică
Făcută de la ouă si câlnaţi,

Cum zboală balza asta-nţet, agale,
Vleo nouă luni, să iasă luclu bun
Si cum agiungem în pătuţ si-n ţoale
Pe cosul casei, ca si Mos Clăciun….

Să vezi măi flate, ţe educatoale (!)
Fălă misto, chial m-a lăsat pelplex,
La vâlsta ei, (ţe ţâţe, ce piţioale !)
Să nu stie nimica desple secs ???

via Mefisto’s HELL

Lyrics

words and music traditional

In the merry month of May, From my home I started,
Left the girls of Tuam, Nearly broken hearted,
Saluted father dear, Kissed my darlin’ mother,
Drank a pint of beer, My grief and tears to smother,
Then off to reap the corn, And leave where I was born,
I cut a stout blackthorn, To banish ghost and goblin,
In a brand new pair of brogues, I rattled o’er the bogs,
And frightened all the dogs,On the rocky road to Dublin.

One, two, three, four five,
Hunt the hare and turn her
Down the rocky road
And all the ways to Dublin,
Whack-fol-lol-de-ra.

In Mullingar that night, I rested limbs so weary,
Started by daylight, Next mornin’ light and airy,
Took a drop of the pure, To keep my heart from sinkin’,
That’s an Irishman’s cure, Whene’er he’s on for drinking.
To see the lasses smile, Laughing all the while,
At my curious style, ‘Twould set your heart a-bubblin’.
They ax’d if I was hired, The wages I required,
Till I was almost tired, Of the rocky road to Dublin.

In Dublin next arrived, I thought it such a pity,
To be so soon deprived, A view of that fine city.
Then I took a stroll, All among the quality,
My bundle it was stole, In a neat locality;
Something crossed my mind, Then I looked behind;
No bundle could I find, Upon my stick a wobblin’.
Enquirin’ for the rogue, They said my Connacht brogue,
Wasn’t much in vogue, On the rocky road to Dublin.

From there I got away, My spirits never failin’
Landed on the quay As the ship was sailin’;
Captain at me roared, Said that no room had he,
When I jumped aboard, A cabin found for Paddy,
Down among the pigs I played some funny rigs,
Danced some hearty jigs, The water round me bubblin’,
When off Holyhead, I wished myself was dead,
Or better far instead, On the rocky road to Dublin.

The boys of Liverpool, When we safely landed,
Called myself a fool; I could no longer stand it;
Blood began to boil, Temper I was losin’,
Poor ould Erin’s isle They began abusin’,
“Hurrah my soul,” sez I, My shillelagh I let fly;
Some Galway boys were by, Saw I was a hobble in,
Then with a loud hurray, They joined in the affray.
We quickly cleared the way, For the rocky road to Dublin.

KEY Dm

verse:
Dm C
Dm C
Dm C
Dm C
Dm F Dm F
Dm F Dm
Dm F Dm F
Dm C

chorus: C Dm
Dm
Dm
C
Dm

Background: Written in 19th century